Love Worm….!!!

On my way to my 10 days work trip… thinking of life around me… flash backs are coming in front of me… thinking of the last few days or may be weeks that I have had…

What happened to me… suddenly I found myself in Disney land… the land of fairies… replacing Cinderella, snow white, beauty in her role with the beast… :):)

I was kidnapped from my world…. Eloped with him to his special private world… with future hopes and dreams… is he the right person… can he be the one I was waiting for my entire life??? Donno…. May be he is the one and ONLY…

Do I have doubts about that?? Of course yes… am I doubting life and living??? Yes I do…
Am I worried about the future??? Yes I am… Are we going anywhere with our relationship??? Yes we may…

I cannot tell I loved him at first sight… first sight love does not make sense to me and does not exit… but… I do not know what happened… I found myself in his world suddenly… I left my life behind me for him… left my world… my network… my outings… even my family commitment for him…

I went to the end of the world for him… went out of my way for him… he made me forget my pain and my first love that stayed with me for a very long time… I forgot the torture of love and walked towards its passage again… without thinking of what will happen… I just crave for him…

When he is not around… I feel emptiness… when I am not with him.. I feel lost… he turned my life into sweetness and happiness… regardless of what people may say…

I see him as an angel… my heart keeper and the guardian of my love… I see him as a man of all seasons and centuries… I see him as the pyramids… I see him as the knight on his white horse, coming to rescue me from the evil…

He treated me as I always wished… he gave me the attention, the care, the love and the passion that I always wanted…

I admit it… I got the love worm…

And I am happy it happened that way…

Mesmerized….!!!!

Sitting in a comfy armchair, thinking of us… our relation and our old time together… the good and bad memories we had together… thought of the nice words we whispered… and the ugly words we threw on each others face…

Remembering how I used to quiver in front of you… from the love I had for you in my heart… I was simply mesmerized, thanking God of blessing me with you being in my life…
Memories of us were tantalizing my feeling towards you… how filled I was with love and passion towards you… how I used to love you to madness… how alluring it was to have you around me…

Thinking of all that… my love and passion to you is not the same anymore… my feeling towards you changed to neutral… regardless of the circumstances that led to that… you are not there anymore… you are not part of my system… you are only there when needed…

I found my passion somewhere else… my love shifted to another direction… was captivated by another magnet… fulfilling and rewarding… rapt with passion and love towards me…
No more thinking of you as love… just thinking of my state of passionate rhapsody when you were around, and how to get there one more time…
It used to be painful thinking of us back… but believe me… this pain turned positive towards my new heart passion… flourishing with hope and confidence in tomorrow’s nebulous unknown destiny…

Wish you all the best in life… :) :) !!!

The Edge....!!

Listening to good old days French songs… thinking of what is happening around me… analyzing all of it… starting from the least and tiniest thing… starting to rationalize things…

Feeling content and happy of where I am now… what I reached over the years… thinking of myself and rewinding my life tape… watching it in front of me…

I’ve been through a lot in my life… which mold me to what I am now… with all my qualities and drawbacks… my character pros and cons… my behavior and reactions…

Thought of my early stage of life… how scared I was… insecure… vulnerable to harm and break like thin glass…

I took the hard path of life… had to go through different tests and experiences… that turned the thin glass into rock solid, hard steel... but also turned my inner to soft paste… shaped to the curves of love and passion… carving its body and soul with feelings…

Sometimes confused… sometimes wild… sometimes eccentric and irrational…
Other times well arranged… wise and calm with a high logic of common sense…
It’s my edge… my satisfaction and my contentment…

Good luck finding your edge :):)

Light Soul

I woke up in the morning with a smile on my face… happy and filled with passion to life… felt my light heart reflecting on my home mirrors… showing a light coming out of my eyes… my face muscles are so relaxed… although I did not have enough sleep…

I had one of my very best days… met people and friends… but above all that, and what is most important… is that I met a soul… a pure one… speaking a little but from the heart… when saying anything… you can tell this soul is not bluffing… such a quality is rarely found in this world of benefits and lies…

A light soul… sometimes I find it observing… or watching other souls… and sometimes I see age showing, blended with discrete wisdom and experience…
Other times… I see a child’s soul inside… a happy one that wants to play and get out of its body to be free to fly high…

I can see the pearl hidden inside… the jewel that shines and reflects lines of rays... nurturing the surrounding with natural light… I can feel warmth hiding behind its shyness… I can read between the curves and the lines of the body reflexes…

A beautiful soul… to keep it in the heart always…!!!

Ballerina

Putting her ballet shoes on… tying their straps around her muscled leg in a crossed way… putting on her fluffy slim dress made of thin transparent off-white cloth… preparing herself to go on stage to perform her dance…

A beautiful tall girl in an elegant fit and make-up… she is waiting in the backstage for her turn to go on stage…. Looking at her colleagues from the side drops of the stage… seeing them performing to their best knowledge…

Her heart beats faster and faster while counting the minutes to her entrance… I must be the best… my entrance should impress my viewers… I do not want to miss any move or forget any part… she keeps on thinking of everything and every possibility… she is calling harm and failure with her mind…

Suddenly she denied the idea of failure and started to boost her moral by encouraging herself through performance of others… see I can do better… I learned this move before… I’ve been there done that several times… I am the queen of stage… I won’t miss it… Her heart beats faster and faster as she approaches her entrance… her entrance is in a second… she just turned red… She moved herself in a very nervous move to pull her body onto the stage in front of her audience…

She entered the stage in a holistic grandiose that got audience attention… she managed to attract their vision to her and keep it on her… She started performing on stage… she was moving like a butterfly… a feather in the air… in a very flexible and harmonized strength and synchronization…

She was smiling to audience… like a bird enjoying freedom of flying out its golden cage… a child taking its first steps to the new world… Every move she makes gives her more confidence in the next move and in her capability… she still cannot see the viewers from the stage light but she feels it…

She is about to finish her moves… and do the finale… her finale was as grand and impressive as her entrance… audience stood up and clapped hard for her… thanking her for the time and effort spent to make them enjoy the performance… she did it… she managed to reach the top and be the best… she finally got what she wants... audience attention, hearts and souls with her…

Wishing to be a life Ballerina…!!

No more to say…

No more to say… nothing more to feel…
I was always the good face... that gives a lot… that loves a lot… but not anymore…

The good face was mistreated… and does not believe in life anymore…
The good face is no longer there… instead… you will find a face of wax… very pleasant but no life in it…

It will take a huge effort to make this face turn back to good… as it does not feel it anymore…
It took this face a long time to trust life… love… and people… and now it is back to be expressionless… lifeless… and very tough…
I always had the pride... the dignity and the self love… and I will always have them… I cannot live without them… or else I will die…

No more pain… I do not deserve it… no more thinking of something that might cause it… I am more precious to myself than this… no more misunderstanding… I am a person that should be accepted as I am… a package… take it or leave it….
No more excuses… I do not buy them…

If you ever really cared… you would have crossed oceans for me… you would have stepped the extra mile for me… you would have contained my fears and eased them away…

If you ever really cared… you would have ignored minor mistakes… you would have understood my good intensions… and you would have forgiven silliness…

If you ever respected me… you would have just communicated... and never ran away or vanished… you would have confronted me… even if you are not ready for the extra step… you would have told me what you think… instead of assuming and acting upon assumptions…

Enough… enough of my feelings towards you… enough of my love and my passion… let me save them for someone who might appreciate me as I am… accept me as I am… and tolerate the world around me…

However…. You will always have my respect… my friendship… and my good intensions towards you… I will never be evil or mean to you… this is not in me…

My World..!!!

With all the love in the world… the passion inside me… the feelings towards you… I pray for you…

I pray for the good to happen.... the sky to rain… kindness to surround you…
I pray to God to protect you… from evil spirit and bad eye… from hate and envy…
I pray to God to save your soul from bad intentions… to guard your mind and heart from anger... I pray for you..
I pray to God to be the best… to reach the top…
I pray to God to take your fear away… to give you courage and stamina
I pray to God to give you the patience and the passion to do what it takes… to take the right decision
I pray to God... for you to face the devil... to stand for the right...
I pray to God to weapon you.... in front of your enemies to beat them...
I pray to God for you to live in health… wealth and happiness…
I pray to God to save the ones you love.... the ones you share life with and the ones that depend on you...
I pray to God to save my love for you... I pray to God to be with me… in my world… forever…

May our prayers be accepted for that day :):)