The Edge....!!

Listening to good old days French songs… thinking of what is happening around me… analyzing all of it… starting from the least and tiniest thing… starting to rationalize things…

Feeling content and happy of where I am now… what I reached over the years… thinking of myself and rewinding my life tape… watching it in front of me…

I’ve been through a lot in my life… which mold me to what I am now… with all my qualities and drawbacks… my character pros and cons… my behavior and reactions…

Thought of my early stage of life… how scared I was… insecure… vulnerable to harm and break like thin glass…

I took the hard path of life… had to go through different tests and experiences… that turned the thin glass into rock solid, hard steel... but also turned my inner to soft paste… shaped to the curves of love and passion… carving its body and soul with feelings…

Sometimes confused… sometimes wild… sometimes eccentric and irrational…
Other times well arranged… wise and calm with a high logic of common sense…
It’s my edge… my satisfaction and my contentment…

Good luck finding your edge :):)

Light Soul

I woke up in the morning with a smile on my face… happy and filled with passion to life… felt my light heart reflecting on my home mirrors… showing a light coming out of my eyes… my face muscles are so relaxed… although I did not have enough sleep…

I had one of my very best days… met people and friends… but above all that, and what is most important… is that I met a soul… a pure one… speaking a little but from the heart… when saying anything… you can tell this soul is not bluffing… such a quality is rarely found in this world of benefits and lies…

A light soul… sometimes I find it observing… or watching other souls… and sometimes I see age showing, blended with discrete wisdom and experience…
Other times… I see a child’s soul inside… a happy one that wants to play and get out of its body to be free to fly high…

I can see the pearl hidden inside… the jewel that shines and reflects lines of rays... nurturing the surrounding with natural light… I can feel warmth hiding behind its shyness… I can read between the curves and the lines of the body reflexes…

A beautiful soul… to keep it in the heart always…!!!

Ballerina

Putting her ballet shoes on… tying their straps around her muscled leg in a crossed way… putting on her fluffy slim dress made of thin transparent off-white cloth… preparing herself to go on stage to perform her dance…

A beautiful tall girl in an elegant fit and make-up… she is waiting in the backstage for her turn to go on stage…. Looking at her colleagues from the side drops of the stage… seeing them performing to their best knowledge…

Her heart beats faster and faster while counting the minutes to her entrance… I must be the best… my entrance should impress my viewers… I do not want to miss any move or forget any part… she keeps on thinking of everything and every possibility… she is calling harm and failure with her mind…

Suddenly she denied the idea of failure and started to boost her moral by encouraging herself through performance of others… see I can do better… I learned this move before… I’ve been there done that several times… I am the queen of stage… I won’t miss it… Her heart beats faster and faster as she approaches her entrance… her entrance is in a second… she just turned red… She moved herself in a very nervous move to pull her body onto the stage in front of her audience…

She entered the stage in a holistic grandiose that got audience attention… she managed to attract their vision to her and keep it on her… She started performing on stage… she was moving like a butterfly… a feather in the air… in a very flexible and harmonized strength and synchronization…

She was smiling to audience… like a bird enjoying freedom of flying out its golden cage… a child taking its first steps to the new world… Every move she makes gives her more confidence in the next move and in her capability… she still cannot see the viewers from the stage light but she feels it…

She is about to finish her moves… and do the finale… her finale was as grand and impressive as her entrance… audience stood up and clapped hard for her… thanking her for the time and effort spent to make them enjoy the performance… she did it… she managed to reach the top and be the best… she finally got what she wants... audience attention, hearts and souls with her…

Wishing to be a life Ballerina…!!

No more to say…

No more to say… nothing more to feel…
I was always the good face... that gives a lot… that loves a lot… but not anymore…

The good face was mistreated… and does not believe in life anymore…
The good face is no longer there… instead… you will find a face of wax… very pleasant but no life in it…

It will take a huge effort to make this face turn back to good… as it does not feel it anymore…
It took this face a long time to trust life… love… and people… and now it is back to be expressionless… lifeless… and very tough…
I always had the pride... the dignity and the self love… and I will always have them… I cannot live without them… or else I will die…

No more pain… I do not deserve it… no more thinking of something that might cause it… I am more precious to myself than this… no more misunderstanding… I am a person that should be accepted as I am… a package… take it or leave it….
No more excuses… I do not buy them…

If you ever really cared… you would have crossed oceans for me… you would have stepped the extra mile for me… you would have contained my fears and eased them away…

If you ever really cared… you would have ignored minor mistakes… you would have understood my good intensions… and you would have forgiven silliness…

If you ever respected me… you would have just communicated... and never ran away or vanished… you would have confronted me… even if you are not ready for the extra step… you would have told me what you think… instead of assuming and acting upon assumptions…

Enough… enough of my feelings towards you… enough of my love and my passion… let me save them for someone who might appreciate me as I am… accept me as I am… and tolerate the world around me…

However…. You will always have my respect… my friendship… and my good intensions towards you… I will never be evil or mean to you… this is not in me…

My World..!!!

With all the love in the world… the passion inside me… the feelings towards you… I pray for you…

I pray for the good to happen.... the sky to rain… kindness to surround you…
I pray to God to protect you… from evil spirit and bad eye… from hate and envy…
I pray to God to save your soul from bad intentions… to guard your mind and heart from anger... I pray for you..
I pray to God to be the best… to reach the top…
I pray to God to take your fear away… to give you courage and stamina
I pray to God to give you the patience and the passion to do what it takes… to take the right decision
I pray to God... for you to face the devil... to stand for the right...
I pray to God to weapon you.... in front of your enemies to beat them...
I pray to God for you to live in health… wealth and happiness…
I pray to God to save the ones you love.... the ones you share life with and the ones that depend on you...
I pray to God to save my love for you... I pray to God to be with me… in my world… forever…

May our prayers be accepted for that day :):)

Warm Rain

A long drive in the streets of Cairo at night… A warm rainy weather… with less traffic… and more of a winter mode… driving along the bridge and listening to inspiring love songs that reflects my state of mind those days…

Looking through my dripping car window, reflecting the street and cars light and glowing in my eyes… remembering backwards… the good old days memories of the far past… the recent memories and events… the people I met there… the fun we shared…. the talk we had…

Thinking forward… listening to the voice of my head… feeling the beats of my heart…. reasoning my life…. seeing the future like a movie in front of me… that still needs fine tuning.. :):)
My long drive went to an end to meet a friend… a friend who will listen to me… who will give me the tip of the day unconditionally… this is what I need…

It was a relief meeting my friend… talking out loud… discussing things while enjoying our freshly brewed coffee… my friend my savior and my advisor…. my buddy and my mentor…

We talked about memories… old past and recent past… we talked about life… love… passion… agony… fears… feelings… practicality… future and the unknown… the do’s and don’ts… and most of all… the present…

We left our table… heading back to the car… walked in the sinking streets… under the pouring skies.... we were thinking... we enjoyed our talk… we satisfied our friendship for a day… now it is time to go back home…

I took the drive back through the long bridge… but this time… I felt warmth… looking through the dripping car window is giving me hope… is painting a smile on my face… as tomorrow will be a new glowing day…

Wishing you a lovely day everyday :):)

Ownership or Partnership…???

Owning what you want!!! Does this make you want it more…. Or will just give you the sense of that you got what you want…. Then you lay back and start to be reluctant of keeping what you have… treating it as fore granted….

Ownership vs. Partnership…. Do we really understand the difference??? Do we really care to understand it??? Are we ready to give away the lust of ownership… to enjoy partnership???

I can explain it in two sentences… like a flower you see in a garden and you get attached to it… you visit it everyday… you care about it and you water it… you make sure that it is safe… and that has enough sun to keep it alive… The flower is not yours… but it is attached to you…. It feels your care and appreciates it…. It blossoms for you... it smiles at you…. It spreads happiness around to all who sees it….

Or… like a flower in a garden and you get attached to it… but this time you crop it to take it home with you and to put it in a vase… you will water it… you will make sure it is safe… but this time… the flower is imprisoned in the vase… taken care of… but not smiling at you… and eventually it will fade… faster than the one still in the garden….

All of us crave for ownership … but life has more meaning than just owning something/someone and taking it/him/her fore granted… as we are human beings… the moment we take things fore granted… we loose interest… and we try to search for another thing to own… to hunt down… to get….

Life is about sharing…. partnering… caring… life is about getting what you want in your circle of interest… and still wanting it forever… continuing to do the effort for partnership to stay… for care to give... for love to live… for an ever after life… the what/who you partnered with….

I worked hard to set them apart in my life… still some things need to be owned.... and some Lives need simply to be shared…!!!

Wishing you an enjoyable moment sharing… and happy New Year :):)

Cheers!!!